Criminal

I live in India whose greatness lies in the freedom enjoyed by it's citizens, or more specifically freedom of speech and expression as mentioned in the Article 19 of the longest written and the least understood constitution of the world. To introduce myself, I think just one word would suffice, and that is, Criminal.I’d like to thank this column to give me an courage to express myself. I want to make some confessions but I won’t go to a church. Solely because, Church, or in fact Temple or Mosque or Gurudwara are sites granting us "forgiveness". I want to make it right here as an apology to the victims and an advice to other criminals like me. I don't want forgiveness, I want to set my mistakes right.I hereby confess, that my crime is “Inactiveness”, the slumber of my conscience. My mortal sin, which in fact proved that I'm less than a mortal, is that I never did anything in my entire life. My fault is that I just live my life peacefully and I don’t harm anyone except a few insects and mosquitoes. I breached the god within me by wasting immense potential in me by following the herd and making money and fun. Well, I could have made money and enjoyed my life and yet not wasted my potential but still I chose to make more of it, make more money like a maniac, think of just money, love, fun, entertainment, my beauty, skin, movies, this girl, that boy, gossip, career plans etc. My crime is that I could have been much happier and made others happy too but I chose depression, laziness and distractions for myself. I ruthlessly killed the trying angel inside me because of the fear of being mocked, because of being too much out of the league, because of being too different, because of being too impractical, empathetic, and philanthropic, I didn't even let that final scream of my inner self be heard. I suppressed it, for days, months and years. I got tired of doing the little good I was perhaps doing because I saw others utilizing that time in again making money or above mentioned things. I wronged my just self by never speaking. I silently watch others commit a crime because the change might just be too small. I kept quiet when others said that the crime they just committed was a mistake and too small to make a change.And to enlighten you all about the scenario, it indeed might be trivial, but I feel like a criminal if I do so like waste food, water and other resources. I see people taking a hit at the system but I just keep quiet because I over-think probably.So, let’s call it mistakes and talk of the bigger crimes I’m guilty of, crimes that make newspaper headlines.I could have done something to curb what ills are taking place in the world, especially my country but I chose to wait for others. I did nothing more than shedding a few tears at the plight of girls who suffer excruciating pain daily, at the cry of the 6-year old who was raped by her Gods (read: Teachers).Moreover, I stopped reading newspapers so that I stop being sad about something which I can’t change. I started running away from the truth like that innocent pigeon which closes its eyes and thinks it's dark for the whole world and the hunter won't be able to shoot at it.Okay, I realize that solving the problems of a country is a big and impractical task but I did nothing to improve the situation of my very small city, forget the city I did nothing for the area I live in. The reasons again are the same what I mentioned above.I did nothing to preach the guys I know who encourage prostitution by visiting one such area in the vicinity. I did nothing, I knew everything but I was just too lazy or too scared to say it. I was aghast to know that prostitution is encouraged by such educated, young boys. My mistake was that I was disheartened by this fact and I didn't try further.My inability lies in the fact that I just tweet or share the indignant remarks made by the politicians and other esteemed people blaming the rape victim while I just sit back and plan a business idea instead of planning on how to curb all these crimes to bring a change.I appreciate this stirring movement, the awakening, the revolting students against the fee hike in MNNIT. But, I feel like a hypocrite for I never stirred a movement when a young girl was being raped in the neighborhood The reason, because the fee hike affects me, not her unheard cries.I never travel alone, because you see the current scenario, it’s dangerous when rapes can take place almost anywhere, if not schools, hospitals, buses then you may read the old ladies or young girls being raped in their house itself, it’s easy to break into a house, isn't it? I feel lucky to have a chaperon with me always to accompany me for the entire journey to make me feel safe. But, my offence is that I would never raise my voice until my chaperon is killed during the journey and I’m raped. My inanity is that until something happens to me, my world will be beautiful, full of joys, stress and burning desire to succeed, while I read others being burnt alive just because she was a poor girl.I write this just to avoid you all from feeling like a criminal and help me do the same. Trust me, we can start right now and bring a change, if only all of us unite. Do you think it’s impossible? If an aeroplane, a cell phone, a computer, a touch screen phone can be made, why not this have a solution – the only reason is that we aren't trying hard enough, we aren't united, and we ourselves are criminals. When we can study a whole book right a night before the exams and score 90% do you think we can’t eradicate this problem? When we can code solutions to lengthy, difficult problems, when we make huge circuits work – do you think we can’t find a solution to this?The crime is that none of us is trying, after all enjoying the college life is more important.